lab coat confessions
by labrat love
Summary: Archie sees much more than he needs to know about his fellow labrats and the CSI. What do they have to say about it? read and find out! On hold due to lack of interest, start reviewing/voting and i'll write more!
1. Chapter 1

**Here is an interesting little series for you, read this one first and i'll explain everything else a the end!**

Lemmie just say right off the bat, I love my job. It makes me feel powerful, and omnipotent...or is it omnipresent? Anyways as with all professions you have your slow days, and on those days I would like to remind my fellow crime fighters the buildings security feed is sent directly to my lab; or maybe I wouldn't. I have learned some pretty interesting things about all of them.

For example I knew Sara and Grissom were together before anyone else. The first time they entered the elevator holding hands I figured it out. It took me a little longer to figure out why Nick and Greg liked to take their breaks together in the basement storage room, but eventually I put two and two together. It wouldn't have taken me so long if it wasn't for Nick's ladies man reputation. Boy am I glad I didn't look at those tapes. Although I can safely say (with audio only) that the they would make a some of the ladies here very happy.

I can also tell you (with the unaided eye), that Catherine likes to flirt with Henry. She even followed him into the freezer once. What I wouldn't give to know what went on in there! Oh, and I saw him leaving with Sofia once, lucky jerk, what's he got that I haven't? Also with the unaided eye (and ear) I can tell you when Wendy is approximately two weeks away from that time of the month (I can tell you when she's got that too). When it's two weeks away Hodges likes to fight with her, when it's here she likes to fight with him, figures.

I frequently catch Judy leaning farther out of her chair to stare at Warrick's ass, and once I caught Ecklie dancing in the elevator...and those suckers don't have music. I've never caught Bobby doing anything though which makes me wonder...

I can't believe how much we get away with here, but I suppose they don't know anyone's looking. Really what more can you expect from a man who's paid to watch?

**So, here's your chance to investigate a little bit more. You can choose who I write about next, they all have a little something to say about what's been said here and more. just comment and leave the name of the next person you would like to hear from and the one with the most votes goes first, then read their story and vote again, simple right? well what are you waiting for!**

**(PS. you can also pick the following people who were not mentioned. Super Dave, Doc Robbins, and Jim Brass.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**So the fans have spoken, and to my surprise the vote was for both Wendy and Hodges...so here they are...**

Wendy Simms (ladies first)

So I'm going to let you in on something, something I've never told anyone else. It's my dirty little secret if you will.

So here it goes, the real reason I chose to work in a lab. I do it for the guys. No, I'm not joking I work as a lab technician for the men. Geeks and techies are always such sweet genuine guys. They treat me like a real person, which is a big deal for a girl like me. No bad pick-up lines, no being macho to impress you. They probably wouldn't know what to do if they had me. But you know what, that's okay. And it's not like I wouldn't know what to do with them. I don't know what it is but the whole super intelligent, socially awkward thing works for me. There is just something about watching a guy like that unwind that turns me on.

I like to lean in too close and make Henry fumble and stutter. I can even get Archie to look up from his screens, providing I have the right top on. I have caught every one from Greg to Grissom looking at my ass. But I know underneath it all they are really more impressed with my intellect than the package it comes in (you'll never get them to admit it though!). It's nice to know that guys like Nick and Warrick come to me for answers. It's a good boost to my self-esteem. Don't look at me like that, it really sucks being looked at like a piece of meat all the time.

Another thing I LOVE is that I don't have to dumb anything down for them. I dated a handyman once. He was totally gorgeous but not to bright. It was like talking to a seven year old, a giant gropey seven year old. Yeah, never doing that again. Sorry, so back on track. There is one fly in the ointment though. And that fly's name is David Hodges. He is so infuriatingly self-centered and scheming, and completely and totally adorable. You heard me. I Wendy Elizabeth Simms, want David Hodges (note to self: find his middle name...Judy might know...). It's that wonderful crackling tension we have combined with our healthy debating abilities that makes me want to either push him down an elevator shaft, or take him over a lab table. Seriously if I didn't like my job so much I probably would have had my way with him by now.

Well I've probably said too much, but he already thinks I want him. So that's all for now I gotta get back to work.

And now David Hodges...

So It's no secret that I used to work for LAPD, and a few other places before that (places we'll not discuss), they were all alright, but coming here was like hitting the jackpot. Not only do they have the best toys here, but hands down the most beautiful women. There is something for everyone really. Sophia 'I have a gun and cuffs and I'm not afraid to use them.' Catherine (need I say more), and even Sara for the bookish type (it worked on Grissom right?). Even Mandy is cute, Warrick thought so. You want to know the best part about them? They're intelligent. I mean really smart and not just book smart, street smart, and that's really sexy. If I was a stuck in a cell with one of them I'm not sure I could stand up to it. Again Mandy should not be underestimated, she has Nick practically eating out of the palm of her hand. I wonder what she's got on him? Anyway, I hate it when you find a pretty girl and you go to make conversation and she's...dumb. I have to give Mr. Heffner credit, I don't think I could be around that many unintelligent women. It's just not a turn on. I want a girl who looks good in a lab coat.

Speaking of looking good in a lab coat, you may have noticed there is one woman I did not mention. That's because she cannot be summed up in a sentence or two, or even in paragraphs. She is the perfect combination of intelligence and wit all wrapped up in one attractive package. Mmmm...and what a package it is. I don't know if I could resist her even if she was dumb, but she's not (as much as I like to tell her she is). I'm not even sure what to say about her. She's cute when she's angry, sometimes she sings softly while she works. She likes pears in her lunch, I watched her eat one once. I may never be able to see one the same way again. She has this adorable look of concentration she uses when she just can't figure something out. Yes I have a shameless crush, I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm only human. Really though, I David Wesley Hodges (don't laugh it's a family name) admit to finding Wendy pretty damn near irresistible. Like I said before it's her combination of book smart and banter that really has me hooked. The fact that I frequently have to fight the mental image of her in just her lab coat does not impact my performance, all the time. Well now that I've given you enough to blackmail me for the rest of my life, I've got to be going. There are important tests to be run.

**All right same as last time, you can vote for someone mentioned in this chapter or the first one, it doesn't matter if they appear in one or both, or in neither (you can still pick from both coroners, and Brass). What are you waiting for go vote! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello all you peoples out there in FF land, it's me Ratty back from the dead and better than ever! (Hopefully) anyway hiatus and semester over so it's time to pick up where I left off! I believe the character with the next highest amount of votes is…Greg…so enjoy! **

Greg

Oh hey! What's up? Me and Nick? So I guess it leaked huh? All right, well I guess I'll spill then…Nick and I are completely and totally in love. A Deep, lasting, sickness and health, his, and well…his towels kind of love.

He lets me wear his A&M t-shirt, and he is viciously protective of that thing. I'm surprised no one else has noticed yet, I mean we make every attempt to be subtle, but it's hard. I mean have you seen Nick? If you had him, could you keep your hands off of him? Really? Didn't think so. That's why well, we've been taking breaks together, in the basement… Yeah I'm blushing.

But please whatever you do don't tell Nick I told you! He would freak! He's not quite ready for anyone to know yet. I just couldn't do that to him! So for Nick's sake lets keep this between you and me okay? Someday we'll tell everyone, but until then, it'll be our secret.

**Eh, not my greatest, but I'll get back into the swing of things, until then you know the voting rules, anyone but a character we've talked to already, so go back and visit the first few chapters, maybe there is someone you'd like to hear from! **


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